Pens have a sixth sense for destruction. The moment you click one open near a shirt you actually like, something shifts in the universe. The ink, which has been sitting perfectly still for weeks, decides that now is its moment. Not when you're wearing the ratty old thing you mow the lawn in. Now. Always now.

Scientists will tell you it's about temperature and pressure changes causing ink to expand. Sure. That's one theory. The other theory, which honestly holds up better under scrutiny, is that pens are chaotic little goblins who have been quietly watching you and waiting for the worst possible moment to strike.

Think about it. You're rushed, distracted, probably running on three hours of sleep and a granola bar you found in a coat pocket. The pen knows. It can sense the vulnerability. Your attention is elsewhere and your defenses are down. That's when it makes its move and turns your front pocket into a crime scene.

The fix, according to absolutely no scientific study whatsoever, is coffee. A proper cup of it. Something dark and serious that tells the pen you are alert, focused, and not to be trifled with today. Caffeinated people project a kind of calm authority that confuses chaotic stationery. The pen hesitates. The ink stays put. You stay presentable.

It's not magic. It's just coffee doing what coffee does.

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Roaster Notes

The Angry Roaster Coffee Co. (​https://theangryroaster.com/​ )

Toronto, Ontario

In their own words: “Our Mission: To bridge the gap between the everyday unconscious coffee consumer and the specialty drinker, between farmer and roaster, barista and consumer, to bring the world together in a movement to inspire change and fairness.

Why are we angry? Here’s the thing, 2020 has been some whack-ass, sci-fi horror film that won’t end. Beyond the virus, this year has revealed how messed up our society actually is: wildfires & pollution, political tyrants running amok, violations of basic human rights, and what looks like the final death blows to the working man. The ‘old normal’ just ain’t gonna cut it no more, and unless we WAKE THE F*CK UP, neither will the new one. We’re here to create OUR NORMAL, one that is built from a collective fistful of love. It’s time to wake up and smell the coffee people, because if you’re not angry, you’re not awake.”

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Keep the ink on the page,

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