Chapstick does not get lost.
It leaves.
You buy one on Monday, place it somewhere completely reasonable, and by Wednesday it has entered a witness protection program.
You check the desk. The car. Every pocket you have worn since 2019.
Nothing.
People will blame absent-mindedness. They will mention small objects, clutter, and the unfortunate depth of sofa cushions.
These are the same people who expect us to believe that one person needs twelve identical charging cables but can never find one.
The truth is simpler
Chapstick is migratory.
It travels between coat pockets, kitchen drawers, glove compartments, and the mysterious gap beside the driver’s seat where ordinary objects go to reconsider their purpose.
Every so often, one returns. Usually in a jacket you have not worn for six months. It looks calm. Refreshed. Unwilling to discuss where it has been.
This behaviour is most common before coffee.
A tired brain can put a perfectly useful object somewhere “safe” with the confidence of a museum curator, then erase the location before your hand has left the room.
After coffee, the investigation improves.
You stop accusing the furniture. You remember yesterday’s coat. You check the small pocket you have already checked twice, but this time with operational eyesight.
There it is.
The chapstick has not returned voluntarily. You have simply become qualified to find it.
Keep a cup nearby. Not because coffee prevents objects from disappearing, but because it gives you a fighting chance against their relocation program.
Coffee note
A new ecology study suggests that small ants may evict coffee berry borers from holes in coffee fruit and use those ready-made spaces for their own young. Apparently borrowing someone else’s real estate is not limited to chapstick.
Read the article: https://dailycoffeenews.com/2026/07/31/weekly-coffee-news-ants-and-borers-regulating-health-claims/
Featured Canadian coffee roaster
Name: Nuroast Coffee Roasters
Website: https://nuroast.ca/
City: Vancouver
Province: British Columbia
In their own words: Nuroast is a Vancouver roastery and coffee academy focused on specialty coffee and consistent roasting. Its website directly offers its own roasted coffee alongside training and wholesale services.
Keep track of the small things,
john