Look, if an entire civilization can vanish without a trace, someone needs to ask the important questions: What happened to their coffee shops?

Think about it. Atlantis had flying vehicles, glowing crystals that powered entire cities, and architecture that would make modern engineers weep into their blueprints. You really think they were drinking instant coffee? Not a chance. Those folks were probably sipping ocean-filtered single-origin brews while their robot fish butlers brought them kelp croissants.

The mermaids alone would've revolutionized the café game. Imagine a barista with actual fins who could foam milk using echolocation. The latte art would've been legendary. No basic hearts or tulips for Atlantis. We're talking full underwater murals in your cappuccino.

And here's the kicker: maybe they didn't sink at all. Maybe they just looked around at the surface world, saw people arguing about pineapple on pizza, and decided to peace out. Can't blame them, really. They probably just went fully remote, working from their crystal palaces while the rest of us were still figuring out fire.

The café scene down there had to be wild. Every shop probably had those bubble windows overlooking coral reefs. The ambient noise wasn't some generic jazz playlist, it was actual whales singing. And the water pressure meant the espresso extracted at perfect atmospheric conditions every single time.

Now, I'm not saying my newsletter will transport you to a lost underwater kingdom. That would be silly. But if you want weekly doses of coffee chat, roaster discoveries, and the kind of thoughts that sound slightly unhinged until you've had your third cup, the Black Coffee Please Newsletter should get pretty close to mythical-city energy.

Plus, no scuba gear required.

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Today’s coffee note: Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee

Grown in Jamaica's Blue Mountain District, Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee is often described as sophisticated with a smooth and silky, complex taste, outstanding full body, and very well balanced. Many reviewers have called it the quintessential cup of coffee and it clearly stands among the world's top gourmet coffees.

Coffees from Jamaica's Blue Mountain region are often named the "Best Coffee in the World". Feedback from regular coffee drinkers (not coffee snobs) indicates that it's a good cup of coffee, but falls on the mild side with subtleties most won't appreciate for a daily drinker.

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Until the mermaids respond to my emails...