Time moves at two speeds: regular speed and DMV speed. Scientists call it "time perception distortion." The rest of us call it soul-crushing.
Here is what actually happens inside a DMV. The fluorescent lights hum at a frequency that scrambles your brain. The chairs were designed by someone who hates knees. The number system was invented purely to crush hope. You pull your ticket, look at the board, and realize the number 47 means you will be here until your grandchildren can drive.
The real problem? Nobody in that building has had enough coffee.
Think about it. The person behind the counter moving at glacier speed? Under-caffeinated. The guy ahead of you filling out the wrong form for the fourth time? Definitely under-caffeinated. You, slowly losing your grip on reality while staring at a motivational poster about patience? Catastrophically under-caffeinated.
Coffee does not just wake you up. It changes your relationship with time. A properly caffeinated person does not experience the DMV the same way. They are mentally somewhere else, probably thinking about where to find their next great cup.
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Roaster/Cafe Notes:
Jumping Bean Coffee (https://jumpingbean.ca/ )
Mount Pearl, NL
Jumping Bean Coffee was founded in 2005. It’s FairTrade certified but also focuses on eco-roast technology. According to a report on the Government of Canada’s website, Jumping Bean’s roasting process produces 85 per cent fewer CO2 emissions. The Eastern-based roaster has also started making single-use coffee pods — ensuring that they are 100 per cent recyclable.
Jumping Bean was founded by Jeff LeDrew, an engineer by trade whose business was inspired by his quest to find the perfect brew. Committed to his mantra of "service before self," Jeff strives to support his community while finding innovative roasting methods to deliver a sustainable, premium organic coffee you can feel good about.
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If you love coffee and a bit of cheek, you will feel right at home with this series. Let me know what you think. Hit Reply and send bricks or bouquets, I need both from time to time.
Caffeinated and slightly(?) suspicious of decaf,
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