Escalators have one job. One. Move people from Point A to Point B without drama. Yet somehow, without fail, there is always that tiny hesitation at the start. That little mechanical pause where the escalator seems to gather its thoughts before committing to the whole "moving staircase" thing.

Scientists call it mechanical inertia. Conspiracy enthusiasts call it something far more interesting involving interdimensional lag. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle, leaning heavily toward the conspiracy side because that is obviously more fun to believe.

The real question nobody is asking though is why does the escalator always seem to hesitate more on Monday mornings specifically. Coincidence? Unlikely. The escalator is simply mirroring the energy of the humans stepping onto it. Sluggish humans produce sluggish escalators. It is basically physics, except completely made up.

The fix, as any reasonable person already knows, is caffeine. A properly caffeinated human steps onto that escalator with purpose and forward momentum. The escalator senses this immediately and responds accordingly with zero hesitation and maximum commitment to its one job. Two cups and the escalator might actually try to impress you.

Coffee does not just wake up the person drinking it. Coffee upgrades the entire surrounding environment, including apparently large moving mechanical staircases.

Monday escalators could use a little more zip and that is why this newsletter is a solid place to start.

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Roaster/Cafe Notes:

Rebel Bean Coffee (​https://www.rebelbeancoffee.com/​ )

Okotoks, AB

In their own words: “All our coffee is organically grown, fairly traded, and roasted fresh every week in a 10kg Turkish drum roaster that we call ‘Toby’. We are committed to buying the highest quality specialty organic beans available from various coffee-growing regions of the globe and bringing out the best of their flavours and nuances through the roasting process.

We are also committed to our community and look for opportunities to get involved, support fundraisers, local businesses and the great events that make Okotoks awesome.

our secret ingredient is love

It actually started with a desire to do life a little differently and progressed to a love of our community and a deep appreciation for the growers and producers whose coffee ends up in our roastery. It’s a whole cycle of awesome before the coffee is even brewed.

Our love isn’t just for the coffee, it’s a love for the connection that coffee gives people.

And we appreciate how YOU want to drink YOUR coffee. We create roast levels and flavor profiles that suit everyone (hopefully!) so that no one dictates what goes in YOUR cup. The world needs a bit more of that, we think.”

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Still caffeinating the staircases,

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